The Walker, Carburation Issues & Snatches of Luscious Life
This night is nothing but a pocket of time stolen from the sleep, from the thoughts that I can’t put in line.
This starry night surrounds me, plays my soul’s raw nerves and I feel like I’m embalmed in my own secret vertigoes.
Makeshift night that enraptures the most secluded part of me, the one that lives on the edge of expression, in an uneasy balance, that raves, that speaks alone or that shuts up at the wrong moment.
My veins throb with a sick joy and a hunger for the universe… Oh, how I’d love to know “what is running underneath the undercurrents of my talk, of my thoughts”!
To uncover it, tonight, like so many other nights of mine, I’ll enter the route of the dream, its folds, trying to listen to myself while I’m something ‘else’ than me.
I’m floating with all the facts, all the words, all the presages, all the images and I realize how life burns more for the ones who love it unconditionally, the ones who try to get closer to its essence.
My head is so crowded with visions that an admission ticket shoul be required!
My head is heavy.
It’s terribly heavy.
It’s pulled up by the infinite space, by the clouds. It swings over the world and collides with the stars.
From up there the universe seems huge.
Then, I look down, caught by the odors of the PAST on street corners and aware, at the same time, of the men who will be born TOMORROW. And all this is happening now, in the quirky and schizophrenic PRESENT of this night of mine. From this other different perspective, instead, the world seems too small and I get furious at everyday life which interferes with the continuity of ecstasy.
It seems this is the penalty to pay for the ones who live “always of tenseness, of fever, continuously, like the firmament, in full movement and in full effulgence”;
for the ones who love everything: secret and manifest, sweet and bitter, joy and melancholy;
for the ones who don’t like wasting time paying attention to ugly things, but love to capture hidden beauty;
for the ones who swim towards the light and love to get lost behind the lines;
for the ones who have the guts not to tell themselves a pack of lies;
for the ones who live in a Universe where the colors runs often into one another without frontiers;
for the ones who have ‘faulty carburation’ issues: we don’t know no half-measures, we can’t idle and life hits us full speed and leaves us breathless;
for the ones who have learned that it’s not enough chasing emotions: “you need to learn as well how to make emotions chase life”;
for the ones who are not stingy with Life and Love..(they’re the same thing, though) and don’t keep the bulk of them for themselves, scraping out in dribs and drabs, retaining them until they go bad;
for the ones who ‘live’ the Others with no fear of getting dirty or hurt;
for the ones who try to stay awake in the middle of this Life, trying not to get caught by the bed where everything is unsaid and motionless, where the world can’t find them;
for the ones who know the real nature of things (they fall in love with each other, like a domino effect, like in a treasure hunt where the treasure is Everything), who pluck up the courage of taking a decision even when they see a road and picture a thousand more, the ones unseen, undiscovered, the ones who blow themselves away in a night like this.
So, with my soul plagued by this ocean of Infinite and Beauty, I feel myself part of this movement, of this wonderfully unstoppable stream.
So, with my Soul dilated enough to contain Others and to resonate with the World, I feel the carnal fear of living for so little time and at the same time I love to the core this marvelous Alchemy called Life where I have to and I want to lead my bones, step by step to the very end.
So now, after catching my breath again through these words of mine, I get back on the Road, for the Road is calling me.
Yes. ” ‘Cause we have to go and that’s that! And the persons who stops for thinking too much are just hopeless onanists. And the ones who have doubts, keep on standing with their doubts in the middle of the road, without taking it. All that really counts to keep on going is to take a road. Otherwise it’s the terror. You stuck in front of the roadsigns…and when you stands still in front of the forks you can’t go around anymore. It’s time for you to retire…you have to hang up your toothbrush. But even this doesn’t matter, ‘cause everyone grows to make his own personal path worth living and for everyone the path is different and special”.
It may seem that our personal ways divide us.
I don’t really think so.
It wouldn’t exist crossroads or bridges…thanks to them, our ways tear us apart, but Join us at the same time.
I’ll see you around.
Love & Light,